Girl's Night~Henna!

On Thursday night, it was Girl's Night with my best friends. We had a pampering and henna party. With facials, eyebrow waxing and deep conditioning hair treatments. (I cannot post photos, under threat of death.) But I do have some of our fabulous henna designs! SO much fun!




Glorymoon applying some to Dawn's ankle.

























The beautiful results.

My right hand, applied by my daughter Emily.














Emily's lower back design.














Emily applying to Glorymoon's hand.














The finished design.















Self applied to my left hand.

Family Birthday Party

On Wednesday, I had a lovely family cookout and birthday party. My parents and sister and niece and nephews, along with David and the kids were there. So nice.














Look at all those candles!














Silly string attack.



















I think forty is going to be great!


Cherry chip cake, the closest to Sophie's request for "Strawberry Shortcake", that I wanted to get.

Birthday Presents!

I had to share some of the wonderful gifts that I received from my family. All so thoughtful and lovely. Thanks for indulging me.





A diamond ring from David.














A very unique locket that I must fill with photos of the kids.
Also from David.














A handmade Women's Rune deck, from my lovely circle sister, Glorymoon.














And from my daughter, Emily's very thoughtful boyfriend, Josh. This amazing altar pentacle!














And, though I got it a month ago, my major 40TH birthday gift, a tattoo of all five of my children's names wrapped around my ankle. I love it! For what greater achievement do I have to show for 40 years than my children? Blessings.

Birthday Timeline ~ Part 4

My spirituality continued to grow over the next few years. I began working outside the home once my youngest, Joshua was in preschool, first as an herb shop apprentice,
then as a hotel
housekeeper, then as a Veterinary Technician. Where I continued up until fours years ago. But I am getting ahead of myself. I had acquired four sweet dogs during this time, and three cats. All rescues.


In 1999, we bought our first home. It was a long time coming....we had been married for 13 years and had four children. The house was wonderful considering that up until then we had lived in a mobile home. It was a newly built home, we loved it. But very soon, for me anyway, it became a place that I felt was not mine. I felt that something was missing from my life, but I did not know what that thing was. I continued searching.....
During this time, I got my first tattoo, commemorating my new self image, my spirituality and my true self. Instead of being who eveyrone always thought I should be, I had now started to become who I was.
In 2000, the new millennium. I decided that getting into shape and working on my self image was something that I needed to do. This was actually when I began belly dance lessons and found a gym that I could afford. I had become a vegetarian a couple of years before and this just fit in with what I was learning. For a year I hit the gym nearly every night. I stumbled onto the fact that I was attracted to women at the gym. Though in retrospect, I had always been bisexual, I had just never let myself admit it, growing up in the Bible Belt as I had. Anyway, I decided that maybe this was the something that I was missing.....a part of myself.....that I had denied. I was open to a relationship, my husband was supportive. Though neither of us expected what happened next......I met David at the gym. We were friends, and he helped me train on the weight machines and develop a work out program. Things progressed from there and we began spending much time together, and I realized that I no longer felt the same about my husband, and I had fallen for David. My husband and I separated in August of 2002 and eventually divorced. David and I moved in together and my whole world opened up. I have learned so much about life and love and so many other things since I have been with him. I owe him so much and such a debt of gratitude for who I am today, for who I have become......for helping me to grow into the woman that I am now. In May 2004 we were married in the city park by the Mayor, no less. In December of that same year our beautiful, Goddess given daughter, Sophie Jane was born in a water birth pool. Her older sisters were there to witness her birth into this world. She has been the joy of our life together. Now almost four years old and full of life and love and learning...she is what keeps us young. Our relationship has been through some of the most crazy ups and downs that I could never have imagined....but we have persevered and it has all been worth it. For the thing we have between us is far more powerful and stronger than anything we have ever encountered. In November 2005, we bought a house together and our family of six lives here quite happily and we are still growing and learning as a blended family. I would not change one thing about how I arrived at this point in my life. Turning forty has proven to be a major, though, exciting milestone. And I am so happy to have made it here. I am looking forward to the next decade of my life and what the great Goddess and my family might have in store for me and my life.


















HAPPY FORTIETH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

Birthday Timeline~Part 3

After three years in Kansas, with my lovely daughter, Laura Elizabeth, where I found La Leche League, home birthing, natural/attachment parenting and baby wearing. We moved back to Tennessee. In February of 1992, I gave birth to my second daughter, Emily Ann, in a beautiful, home birth. In the interim years, I became a La Leche League Leader, home school mom, created my first gardens, took cake decorating lessons, belly dancing lessons, studied to become a Certified Herbalist, and began studying to become a Veterinary Tech. I was reading everything I could get my hands on related to parenting. My children and family were foremost in my life. In September 1994, I gave birth to my first son, Jonathan David, at home with only my husband in attendance. This was a most amazing, empowering experience! To know that my body could do this, on its own. Awesome! Twenty-two months later, June 1996, Joshua Micheal arrived, a bit of a surprise, but loved and wanted and cherished. Needless to say, my life was very full indeed, and i had some of my happiest years thus far.

After the natural births of my children, I began to question much in my life. My spirituality was the biggest and greatest thing to come under my scrutiny. I found that the religion of my childhood and adulthood up to that point left much to be desired. I was very unhappy with it, and in learning to be a good mother, I came across others who led different lives and this opened up a whole new world for me. I embraced the Sacred Feminine, in 1998. I dedicated my life to the great Mother Goddess, and have since then been unfailingly sure that this is where my spirituality lies and what I am called to.

During this decade I experienced the death of three family members, my grandfather, my cousin and my much loved aunt, Eula. My relationship with my husband began to grow distant as we both grew up at different rates and felt called to a different life than the one we originally thought that we wanted together. More to come tomorrow......

Birthday Timeline~ Part 2

When I was twelve, my brother was born and we moved to a small rural town called Oliver Springs. Not far from Clinton, really, but to me it seemed a million miles. I had to change schools and make new friends. I attended Norwood Junior High and being somewhat shy and quiet it took a while to make friends, but I did have a core group of girls that meant a lot to me during my teen years. I was fairly sheltered by my parents and wasn't allowed to do much away from them. However, I didn't rebel as some kids do. My favorite subjects in school were English and writing. This is when my ongoing love affair with books began. I wasn't into sports or clubs or really anything extracurricular, partly due to my shy nature and partly due to the fact that there was not the money for those activities. Listening to music was a bog part of my life and there was a soundtrack to it. My friends and I all had our favorite songs and bands that we listened to over and over. At fourteen I had my first serious boyfriend, then a string of them after that throughout high school. In my junior year I met the guy who would become my first husband. After I graduated, I unfortunately, opted out of going to business college and got married. I was 18 years old. He joined the Air Force and after we married in October 1986, we moved to Witchita, Kansas, where he was stationed. On January 30, 1989, I became a mother, and my life changed forever. To be continued..........

Birthday Timeline~ Part 1

In four days I will be forty years old. Forty! Wow! Four decades of life! In honor of this milestone birthday, I have decided to create a sort of timeline. One day for each decade of my life.

So to begin......I was born on July 23, 1968, here in Oak Ridge. I was the first born daughter of James & Mildred Bean. We lived in Clinton, in various houses for most of my childhood. When I was four my mom had my sister, Kathy. We enjoyed playing together as children. Some of our favorite games were, make believe,house, dolls, Barbie's, paper dolls, Little People, coloring books & crayons, the usual for the time. I played outside most all the time in the summer. Swinging and swimming in the creek were favorite ways to pass the days. Summer vacation meant a lot to us as children. I remember making playhouses under the Hydrangea shrubs and Mimosa tree in my grandmother's yard. Every year in August, before school started back we would take an overnight trip to Cherokee, NC to visit the amusement park there, called Ghost Town in the Sky. I loved those trips, they were a special treat for us. We didn't have a lot of money most of the time. We also went to the county fair every year.

I went to Dutch valley Elementary school from second-sixth grade. My favorite teachers were my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Beets, who was very kind. And my sixth grade teacher Mrs. Tackett, who taught me discipline and honesty. Christmas and Easter were especially exciting holidays when I was a child. We got together with my dad's very large family and there were many, many cousins to play with. it was always a very happy time. When i was ten, my sister and I were riding in the back of my dad's old pickup and it stalled on a railroad track. We all got out of the truck safely, with only a few scratches, but a train that was coming totalled the truck. What a way to end my first decade, for many years after, I had a dread of crossing railroad tracks, and trains held no interest for me. To be continued.........

Musings on My Life

The one who started it all.

I realized early this morning that this summer will mark two very huge milestones in my life. First is my fortieth birthday in July, which I have posted once about. And then also there is the tenth "anniversary" of my beginning on the Goddess Path. Wow! Really major and big to me and I would love to mark them in some special fashion. Needless to say, I will be doing some more thinking about it and would welcome any suggestions for celebrations that use as little money and earth resources as possible. Thanks.

Turning Forty

I am still trying to come to terms, personally, with turning forty in July. I know its 6 months away, but I think it is going to take some getting used to. On the surface I feel fine with it- it just is. But inside I am struggling with what it means for me as a sexual being. With not having that youthful sexuality, at least on the outside, to present who I am to the world. And with how to define myself as more than that for the middle years of my life.
So, what have I to show for forty years of living? Five beautiful children . A loving soul mate, husband and partner. A lovely home and many close friends whom I can count on in times of need as well as celebration. A strong spiritual life that deepens each year.
What do I want to have in the middle years of my life? To see my children grow into well-adjusted, happy and productive adults. To deepen my relationship with David, and to explore all the dimensions there in- together. To discover all that life has to offer us as a couple. To enjoy and care for our beautiful home. To continue making it "ours". To grow in and deepen my friendships, to learn more about each one and share more of myself with each of them. To share our changing lives and grow with each other. And to deepen my spirituality. To go deeper inside myself to discover what my life means. To learn and develop the skills to help others make the crossing from this life to the next peacefully and prepared.http://www.ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm I feel that by doing this for others I may more easily or more readily come to terms with my own mortality and come to the end of my life with peace and grace.
That's all for now, but I will be revisiting 'turning 40' as that day approaches.