I am still trying to come to terms, personally, with turning forty in July. I know its 6 months away, but I think it is going to take some getting used to. On the surface I feel fine with it- it just is. But inside I am struggling with what it means for me as a sexual being. With not having that youthful sexuality, at least on the outside, to present who I am to the world. And with how to define myself as more than that for the middle years of my life.
So, what have I to show for forty years of living? Five beautiful children . A loving soul mate, husband and partner. A lovely home and many close friends whom I can count on in times of need as well as celebration. A strong spiritual life that deepens each year.
What do I want to have in the middle years of my life? To see my children grow into well-adjusted, happy and productive adults. To deepen my relationship with David, and to explore all the dimensions there in- together. To discover all that life has to offer us as a couple. To enjoy and care for our beautiful home. To continue making it "ours". To grow in and deepen my friendships, to learn more about each one and share more of myself with each of them. To share our changing lives and grow with each other. And to deepen my spirituality. To go deeper inside myself to discover what my life means. To learn and develop the skills to help others make the crossing from this life to the next peacefully and prepared.http://www.ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm I feel that by doing this for others I may more easily or more readily come to terms with my own mortality and come to the end of my life with peace and grace.
That's all for now, but I will be revisiting 'turning 40' as that day approaches.
So, what have I to show for forty years of living? Five beautiful children . A loving soul mate, husband and partner. A lovely home and many close friends whom I can count on in times of need as well as celebration. A strong spiritual life that deepens each year.
What do I want to have in the middle years of my life? To see my children grow into well-adjusted, happy and productive adults. To deepen my relationship with David, and to explore all the dimensions there in- together. To discover all that life has to offer us as a couple. To enjoy and care for our beautiful home. To continue making it "ours". To grow in and deepen my friendships, to learn more about each one and share more of myself with each of them. To share our changing lives and grow with each other. And to deepen my spirituality. To go deeper inside myself to discover what my life means. To learn and develop the skills to help others make the crossing from this life to the next peacefully and prepared.http://www.ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm I feel that by doing this for others I may more easily or more readily come to terms with my own mortality and come to the end of my life with peace and grace.
That's all for now, but I will be revisiting 'turning 40' as that day approaches.
1 comment:
I'll still be 40 before you and I know that I can don the mantle of Wise Woman. It is then when I can begin to embark on the next phase of my life. Although it's just a number and I know that I am okay at any age.
Not having the same internal struggle you do at this point, I wonder if I will mourn the loss of my youth or the loss of children from my life.
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