What is depression? Why does it seem to suddenly come upon me for no apparent reason, in the midst of every day life? When I am so busy and trying so hard to keep things together and in order. When I have plans that will change the awful state of affairs in my life, why does depression come along a throw a kink in those well laid plans? Why can't I go back to the way I used to be? When I was younger my life had it's fair share of hardships, we lived with very little money, even with inadequate housing at times, but I was happy. Nothing seemed able to get me down. I don't think it was an act as some have said, I think I was truly happy despite it all. Now it seems that with more years and more wisdom I cannot deal with the same sort of things without falling through the holes of darkness that depression is for me. I am fighting it at this point, it has not won yet. But the darkness is somehow comforting and I long for it in a way. But I know that if I give in, I may not be able to come back, I may be trapped there in the dark, alone, afraid and unable to be who I am any more.
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